It's Wonderful
by coolbyrne
Summary: "D" is for "Duct".


A/N: For an alphabet challenge ages ago. "D" is for "Duct".

"It's official," Nikki declared. "You've lost your minds if you think I'm wearing that."

"Oh, come on, love," Julie S pleaded, "do it for us?"

"For us?" the taller Julie echoed.

The brunette crossed her arms and shook her head. "Not a chance, sorry." She saw the two women step closer and she shook her head again for emphasis. "No. Sod off."

They touched her arm and Julie S asked, "Do you know what we'll get if we win?"

"Double our wages for the rest of the year –" Julie J said.

"And extra VOs!" the shorter one finished. "I could get David in to see me more often." She pulled apart Nikki's crossed arms and squeezed her hand. "Please, Nikki, you know how much that would mean to me."

Julie J nodded. "A lot."

The two cellmates could see the resolve melting. "Yeah, that's it, come on," Julie S smiled.

"Christ, I had it wrong," Nikki grumbled, "I'm the one who's lost their mind to even consider this. Between the wine making and harbouring your bloody cat…"

"So this is it, right," Julie S explained, knowing full well Nikki wouldn't say no now. "For the Hallowe'en contest, we was told we had to choose one thing and make a costume out of it."

"But it couldn't be something regular, like cloth."

"Right. We was given a list of things we could choose from, and they're all stuff around the wing."

"We was lucky to have anything good left by the time the list got to us," Julie J remarked.

Nikki tried to follow the verbal tennis match between the two Js. "So this is a prison contest, right?"

"Right." Julie S answered. "A to H wing are involved."

"And we're gonna wipe the floors with them, ain't we, Nikki?"

"And why me?" the con asked.

"Well, you're the only one who's got the legs for it, aren't you?"

"And the rest."

"Jules, if that's your way of trying to butter me up, you're fishing off the wrong pier." Nikki closed her eyes, not believing she was about to agree to this plan. "I'm not wearing aluminum foil, I'm telling you that right now," was all the lifer would say.

"Oh, no, not aluminum foil at all."

"Not at all."

"Come look, Nikki," the shorter Julie said.

Wade peered closer and she squinted. "You've got to be joking. Is that… duct tape?"

The two Julies beamed. "One and the same!"

Julie J crowed, "We took white duct tape and got the girls in the craft room to paint it for us."

"Perfectly legal, according to the rules," Julie S assured.

"Yeah, that's great," Nikki drawled. "So say I agree to do this. How the bloody hell do I get in and out of it?"

"Oh, that's the best part. Watch." The two blondes carefully peeled two pieces apart. "You get in it like usual, right?"

"Like usual."

"Then we tape you in."

Nikki pursed her lips. "Where's her lasso?"

"Eh?"

"Lasso," Nikki repeated. "Rope. She ties the crims up with it and gets them to tell the truth." The look of confusion on their faces caused Nikki to narrow her eyes. "What made you pick Wonder Woman in the first place?"

Julie S's face lit up. "It's David's favourite super hero. I told him I'd send pics."

Covering her face, Nikki asked, "Am I ever going to be able to look at your son in the eyes after this?"

"It's all right, Nikki," Julie J quipped, "he won't be looking at your eyes anyway."

Wade opened her mouth to object, then gave up. "And this isn't going to stick to me or anything, is it?"

"No," the Julies shook their head in unison. "We doubled the tape back-to-back."

"Looks uncomfortable," Wade groused.

"You'll be wearing pants underneath. So you'll do it?"

Nikki sighed dramatically and replied, "I suppose I don't have much of a choice with you looking at me like that, do I?" When the Julies clapped gleefully, she added, "Do you know what this is going to do to my reputation in this place?"

"Probably get you a few dates, I should think," Julie J smiled.

As Governing Governor, it was Helen's duty to announce the winner, and when she saw the name on the piece of paper, she couldn't help but take a small measure of delight. "And the winner of the Larkhall Hallowe'en Costume Contest is… Julie Saunders and Julie Johnston of G Wing!"

The crowd of inmates from each wing cheered at the announcement and the two Julies went to the small stage to claim their victory. Seeing Nikki on the side of the stage, squeezing her tall frame into the smallest shadow possible, they waved her over. When she shook her head at the idea of an encore presentation, they rushed over and pulled her into the spotlight. Cheers changed to hoots and hollers and catcalls.

It was hard to say whether the costume made the woman or the other way around, but as it was, the two together were striking. Tall as the Amazon character, with limbs that seemed to go on forever, Wade relented and resting her hands on her hips, shouted, "Get a good look, girls, because it's the last one you'll get!"

Amidst the cheering and the hollering and the whistling, Helen was able to lean into Nikki and whisper, "I hope it's not the last time I see it."

Nikki's mouth twitched with amusement. "The Julies told me they'd have to cut me out of the damn thing," she whispered in kind, then dared a sidelong smirk. "We're not allowed sharp objects in our cells. I don't suppose you've got a pair of scissors, do you?"

-end


End file.
